"Couples who don't have sex before marriage are happier."

In a study performed by Brigham Young University School of Family Life, a group of over 2,000 married couples were questioned about their relationships, and the impact of sex in their marriages.  It was found that those who waited to have sex until after they were married had stronger, healthier marriages for a number of reasons.  Satisfaction of their relationships, communication strengths, and sexual intimacy improved compared to those that participated in pre marital sex.  What I found most interesting about his study, was that communication skills between spouses who waited to have sex before marriage were better than those who didn't.  The study talked about how sex is a form of communication, and those that waited to have sex were better at communicating because by not having sex, they found other ways to communicate with each other.  This caused them to be better communicators.  In response to the study performed, many readers have said that this study is biased, because it was performed by a University supported by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  How do you feel about this study?  What do you think about sex before marriage?  Do you think that relationships are stronger and healthier when sex is something that happens after marriage?

Family Relations

This semester, I have started taking a class about Family Relations.  I am excited to share with you all of my findings, and the things that I learn and adapt to my life.  I hope that we will enjoy the things that I share, and incorporate them into your life as well!

Dating

As individuals, we find ourselves looking for that special someone, our soul mate, our companion, the one that we will be with forever.  During this journey, we may experience love, as well as heartache.  I believe that we must take risks in order to find happiness.  Someone once said that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.  While some may disagree with this statement, I think that it contains some truth to it.  While all of us at some point may experience loss, disappointment, rejection, betrayal, or even a broken heart, we do not need to feel like that forever.  We never know who will come in to our lives next.  Life goes on with or without us, so we might as well keep up.  The quote below from the movie The Holiday provides some interesting insights that I thought you might benefit from.
  
"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade." -Iris Simpkins, The Holiday

Service

I had an interesting experience while I was at work last week.  As some of you may know, I work at a grocery story part time while attending Brigham Young University Idaho.  As I was helping a customer with their groceries, we engaged in small talk, and the topic of the holidays came up.  He told me that he was only home for a short time, that he was in the army, and that he would be returning to Iraq in the near future.  I have a great amount of respect for those that serve our country, which caused me to try and think of something meaningful to say to him.  I proceeded to thank him for his service, and he simply replied, "no problem."  I was caught off guard at his response.  What he was doing for me, you, and everyone else in this country was something significant.  It struck me that his response was so simple.  It caused me to think about the great sacrifices that are made in our behalf.  Do we realize what others are doing for us?  Are we grateful for their efforts?  

Hero

Many things came to my mind when I think about what a hero is.  To me a hero is someone that has had a strong influence in our lives, and someone that we would like to become.  Soon after returning home from serving a mission, my Grandpa passed away.  It was something that I knew was coming, but that I don’t think I was fully prepared for.  As I sat listening to his life story at his funeral service, memories flooded my mind.  I remembered all the things we used to do together, and learned things I had never known about him.  Tears soon came as I thought about what an amazing man my Grandpa was, and how much I missed him.  Ralph Watts wasn’t just a man, or a father, or a grandpa, but he was a hero.  In the twenty one years that I had known him, he was always someone that I knew was wise and very smart.  His life was lived in a way that showed he wanted to return to live with his Father in Heaven again.  I believe that one of his greatest accomplishments in his life is his posterity.  As he lived the Gospel, he provided an example for his wife, his children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.  I’m not sure what my life would be like if my Grandpa had chosen to take a different path in his journey.  Ralph Watts is one of my hero’s because he has helped me get to where I am today.  I am so grateful for a knowledge of the Gospel, and for the example that he showed to me.  I look forward to the day that I will be able to see him again.  I love you Grandpa.    

Lesson Learned

During my first semester at Brigham Young University Idaho, a bomb fire party was held at the sand dunes just outside of Rexburg Idaho.  As a new college student I enjoyed hanging out with friends and having fun on the weekends.  You could say that I valued my free time, and wanted to do something that was going to create lasting memories.  I had planned in advance who I would be going to the party with, and as we traveled to the event, I anticipated the experience we would have together.  When we arrived at the sand dunes, I parked my car on the side of the road, which seemed to be somewhat firm.  Soon after, we found out that we were in the wrong location, and would need to continue traveling.  As I pressed the gas pedal, I could feel the tires of my car sink into the sand until we were completely stuck.  My friends and I looked at the situation and felt like there was no way we were going to get my car out of the sand by ourselves.  Keep in mind that we were in the middle of nowhere.  There were no lights, and phone reception was unavailable.  I could feel myself starting to worry thinking, how are we going to get out of here?  In addition to the few friends I had in my car, a man named Drew was with us.  He had recently returned home from serving a full time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  As we discussed what we would do, he suggested that we say a group prayer.  At first everyone kind of laughed at him, but as I thought about it, it not only sounded like a great idea, but it was the only thing we could do at this point.  We gathered in a circle and offered a short simple prayer to our Father in Heaven asking for help to get my car out of the sand.  The moment we said amen, a truck full of college students drove up and helped us dig my car out.  In a minutes time my car was out of the sand and we were on our way to the party we had been anticipating.  This experience is a simple one, but the lesson learned is very powerful.  My testimony of prayer was strengthened as a result of the experience I had with my friends.  I believe that Drew was inspired to suggest that we pray and ask for help when clearly there was no other line of communication available.  When we are faced with a difficult situation, and have no idea what to do next, what do we do?  Do we turn to our friends like I did at first?  Do we do nothing?  Or do we think of our Heavenly Father and the help that he can provide us?  In my situation, prayer was not the first thing that came to my mind.  In the end it was the thing that got us out of trouble.  My point today is that whether our challenge is big or small, we can, we should, and in some situations, we must turn to God to receive help and to solve our challenges and concerns.          

Remember

Anyone that knows me well knows that I love to take pictures.  For me it is a way to remember the past.  As I was looking through pictures on my computer this past week, I ran across the photo below of a time during my mission.  It was one of my favorite areas, and where I really enjoyed working with the missionaries I served with.  As I looked back at that time in my life, for a moment I wished I was there again.  I was having the time of my life.  I don't think we realize what we had until we've lost it, or until the time has passed and it is no longer the present.  I think the reason I like to take pictures is because it captures parts of our lives, enabling us to hold on to it forever.